Have you ever judged someone else? Huh? Is water wet?
Of course we all have done it. But what are those judgments usually based on? Normally it’s their behaviour, the things they do or say. We see a behaviour, we run them past our belief systems, standards and rules as to what we think is right or wrong, then make a judgment on how we view those behaviours.
Think of another person’s behaviour as the tip of an iceberg. You only see a very small percentage of the ‘big picture’ that makes up the whole iceberg. Similarly, the behaviour of a person is determined by what happens beneath the surface. And the things that are closest to the surface are attitudes.
Attitudes are seen by our behaviours. By identifying the kind of attitude we wish to display, we deliver the kind of behaviour that makes an impact, either negative, positive or neutral.
You can determine your own attitude by the words you use in your self-talk.
Losers will say things like: ‘It’s not my fault, it’s the system’, ‘We’ve always done it this way’, ‘That’s typical of my bad luck’, ‘Don’t ask me, I just work here’.
Winners will say things like: ‘We can change it’, ‘I can do even better’, ‘We can find a better way’, ‘ I can do it if no-one else can’.
It’s not just being positive. Positive thinking often clouds judgment because it can’t or doesn’t want to see the real picture. As Tony Robbins says, “Positive attitude is like going into your garden and saying ‘There’s no weeds, there’s no weeds!’ The realist sees the weeds and says ‘Let’s pull the suckers out and get on with proper gardening”.
Your attitude should be one of solution-providing. If that drives your behaviour, you find most people will start thinking your way. Allowing your solution-focused attitude become the norm will show in so many different forms of behaviour. You will start influencing different people for the better. They will see the behavioural style as one to be admired and followed as an example.
Remember…your attitude is seen by your behaviour. Don’t blame others for your behaviour; check your attitude and be aware of the impact it has.
Head of Training