In order for you to get on in management, improving your Emotional Intelligence (EQ) should be in your top five of things to accomplish. Some people would say it should be at Number One.
So, how can you increase and improve in this vital skill for managers? Here are some tips:
Use three word sentences beginning with “I feel” – This way, you highlight to yourself how you feel about things and increase your self-awareness
Start labelling feelings; stop labelling people & situations – This keeps your attention on yourself and things that you can control, not on the outside and things you can’t
Analyse your own feelings rather than the action or motives of other people – Again, this puts the emphasis on the intrinsics and stops you from being judgmental, a key skill in developing your EQ
Ask others how they feel — on scale of 0-10 – This gives you the chance to let others check out their feelings and helps you develop empathy and understanding
Make time to reflect on your feelings – It doesn’t have to take long…if you find yourself in an awkward situation, or you are finding your emotions are playing up, ask yourself what the meaning is tat you’re attaching to things. This may help you identify which way your thought processes need to go to regain control.
Identify your fears and desires – This makes you aware of what is troubling you and what drives you, and increases the conscious awareness you have over these ideas
Identify your UEN’s (Unmet Emotional Needs) – These are the things that motivat you. If the need is satisfied, it no longer becomes a motivation for you. It’s only when the thing you are seeking is something you need, want and desire, and you know it’s going to either relieve pain or increase pleasure, that you have the drive to achieve it. EQ helps you determine what those UENs are and how much energy you want to devote to them
Take responsibility for your emotions & happiness; Stop believing others cause your feelings; Don’t expect others to “make” you happy – This is taking full responsibility. When we recognise that happiness lies within and not in what we do, get or have, then we appreciate how EQ can drive us at a deep level
When you envelop these ideas about how you can improve everything around you, you create a foundation that can be built on and developed through exercising the EQ muscle, And you’ll find your results as a manager will improve also.
Head of Training